Figuring it Out

I fueled up today. Gas prices are rising again, and I like saving money. I usually gas up our vehicles at one of those budget service stations, the kind where the word "service" is somewhat of a misnomer, where the squeegee buckets have been long abandoned, but where the dime-a-gallon-savings makes it okay. My usual gas bar is a busy spot and every customer is there for the same reason - gas is a little cheaper than the place down the block.

I do love people-watching at this particular place, because it strikes me as a peek into real America - the tradesman fueling up between jobs, the struggling single mom pumping just a couple gallons, the senior citizen resigned to self-service but probably still thinking about the pleasure of full service stops from days gone by.

This particular station is one that lacks directional arrows or signs proclaiming, "Enter Here" and "Exit Only". Instead, each customer must find a way to wiggle their vehicle to a pump, sometimes driving in nose to nose, or backing in like a bad parallel parking job. On busy days it can get a little tense, a nervous game of "jump to the pump", with the occasional customer having to drag the hose and nozzle across the car's body - the heavy, spring-loaded snake fighting back - because they couldn't get to a pump on the correct side of the vehicle.

Today I watched all this and asked myself, "Which is better: to tell the drivers where to come and go, or to let them figure it out?" And immediately, thinking about church leadership and ministry, I pondered the same question about Christian service and spiritual growth: "Is it better to prescribe the right way to proceed, or let them figure it out?"

Because I've been to the service stations with the arrows, the signs, the helpful gentleman in the safety vest enforcing the traffic flow. It is efficient. Less stress. Safer, for sure. Just pull up and wait your turn. It's a good way to get it done.

Still, I decided I prefer the chaos method. I like the freedom and responsibility and risk of figuring it out. I like the increased brain wave activity required for each of us to maneuver to a pump, even at the expense of lost efficiency. There's even a little human interaction, even if it is just a nod or a wave or some other subtle acknowledgement between drivers. In the directed lanes, I never - really, never - have even the slightest interaction with another customer. There's no need, because everything is figured out for me already.

In my years of church leadership I confess I have spent significant energy figuring things out for people. And while it is necessary that each person progress in their spiritual life, have I helped them by prescribing a journey for them? Did they really gain from my arrows and signs and traffic enforcement? Would it have been okay to let them figure it out, even if it meant some awkward moves and multiple attempts? They may even experience a little more community by pursuing what sparks their attention with others, rather than simply following signs. Like the service station, people start at differing entry points, with varying resources and pursuing individual goals.

I want to trust the Holy Spirit to direct each believer. The Apostle Paul wrote to the Christians in Rome, "I am fully convinced...that you are full of goodness" (Romans 15:14a). Not perfect, not yet complete, but still full of goodness. I have my struggles, weaknesses and preferences, as do you. And yet, we can determine to proceed in a way that fits we are, even if it's not in perfect order, because in the midst of our humanity, Christ is present in every believer.

And after all, if I'm going to figure it out, I have to let others do so too.